Be a fit in the team #4 – Favours

Hey reader,
you do like to gossip because it is quite fun. We all like it. The downside is that finding out the topics is not always something that you actually want or desire.

There are two points of view for this topic: “Obtaining a favour and bragging about it” and “Ask why and how a favour has been obtained”.

Obtaining a favour and bragging about it

Case presentation:

You have worked very hard recently in order to obtain something that nobody has. Desired or not by the others, it does not matter. They do not have it. You are happy and excited about it. This is good. You feel like sharing your happiness with the ones around you and bragging against the ones who did not believe in you.


1) Do not do any of the things that you feel like doing. There are very few circumstances in which it will end up well. Very very few! In all the others it will do you more harm than good.

2) When asked about your favour, always send the inquirer to talk to the one that granted you the favour. It is the only correct way to do it.

The good:

You are happy about what you have obtained just during the bragging conversation. As soon as the conversation is over, we go into “the bad”.

The bad:

1) Due to many many reasons, not all of us are equal. Even if we were equal, sometimes it would happen that only the first request is approved.

2) You will be labeled as someone who cannot respect the privacy of a conversation. If the manager wants this conversation to be public, he holds the meeting and presents the news accordingly.

3) From a manager’s perspective, it is cheaper to remove the root of the problem instead of creating the support required for everyone else to benefit. Here we do not talk only about the money.

Ask why and how a favour has been obtained

Case presentation:

Someone that you work with has obtained something and you are sooooo eager to learn what and why. Who knows, maybe you even like it, maybe you are just curious or you want to learn from their experience.


The only action that will not harm your colleague is to ask the person who granted the favour. Any other action will create problems for him and useless ideas for you.

The good:

You feel that you are close to you colleague for trusting you with that “secret”.

The bad:

1) Asking for a favour with him as an example will label him as a person who does not understand how privacy works.

2) You will not get the same treatment because you are different.

3) You will end up with a new desire which it is very unlikely to come true.


When the time is right, the person empowered to announce the news will do it. Don’t ask about it, don’t talk about it. Focus on being as efficient as you could be. Life is not about the end result because we all die in the end. It is about the journey. Knowing the future sucks, while finding bits and creating around them makes it fun.

The team lead can use these favours as a very powerful motivational tool. Instead of just granting favours, he can present to the team a list of desired actions and outcomes so that others can understand how they can win something. It is obvious that they do not know how to do it, why to do it or what to do. If they are presented the “why” and a list of “what” it is very likely that some of them will try to figure out the “how”. This is a very good opportunity to use somebody’s drive and work in order to create a positive momentum inside the team towards the goals expected by the upper management.

Have a good evening,
Gabi and the blonde friend

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